November 28, 2011

National Adoption Month: Real Stories

Posted in Adoption at 10:55 am by Lund

Story by Cat Cutillo

Parenting was something Kevin and Kim Hamilton had always wanted. Even their chosen professions as an assistant principal and a kindergarten teacher reflected their desires to be around children.  But conceiving a baby was just not possible.

“It was really tough. We see kids everyday and parents everyday who shouldn’t have kids. It would get so frustrating and we’d think what is wrong with us? Why can’t we have kids”?

After spending tons of emotions and money on infertility treatments, the Hamiltons decided to look into adoption with Lund Family Center.

“I didn’t go [into adoption] thinking that this is going to be this great big wonderful experience and the child is going to become my own. I went in there thinking we’re settling and this is what we have to do because life has given us such a kick in the butt,” says Kim.

Lund’s Adoption Director Wanda Audette says people can experience a lot of emotions when faced with infertility.

“They went through what so many people do. Some adoptive parents get that sense of anger and frustration of ‘what did they do wrong’ and ‘why can’t they have a child in that way’. The message we always give is that families are made and joined in many different ways and for whatever reasons your family is supposed to be joined through adoption.  It’s not going to matter once you have your baby in your arms. Lots of times people don’t believe it until they experience it,” says Audette.

Kim soon began embracing the support groups that Lund offers and says that helped her feel less alone.

“It was good to talk to other couples in the same situation and feel their pain. So many other people are in the same situation,” says Kim.

But nothing made the waiting any easier. It had been a long road for Kevin and Kim. In fact, their 20th wedding anniversary was fast approaching and they still felt like their family was incomplete. Then, just days before their anniversary, they received the most perfect gift: A birth mother had selected them as the adoptive parents. The baby was due in just three months. However, this was going to be the longest three months of their lives. The birth father was considering the idea of parenting and the Hamiltons knew things could change on a dime.

“That was a little nerve-wracking, but a few people  have said to me, ‘Well, that’s your labor. That’s what you have to go through before your baby comes to you,” says Kim.

Finally, in the middle of a June night, the Hamiltons got the call that the birth mother was in labor.

“She handed him over to me and I was just overcome with emotion and crying and my husband, who doesn’t cry very often, held him and cried too,” remembers Kim.

They named him Finn and asked the birth parents to pick his middle name, James, so that he would always have a part of their legacy.

“Since Finn has come into our lives it’s just been amazing. Our house is always a mess,” laughs Kim. “We feel luckier than people who have biological children. We feel like we have such a special story and it just makes him that much more special to us because of how hard we worked to get him and to have a family.”

Now, every year Kim and Kevin look forward to the Adoption Picnic Lund hosts where they get to see the people from their support group who now all have children. And Kim couldn’t be happier with where life’s ‘kick in the butt’ has landed her.

“Everyday I’m thankful for him. We look back and say, ‘Can you imagine our life without him?’ We feel like we appreciate him so much more because of how he came to be,” says Kim.

9 Comments »

  1. Irene said,

    What a beautifully frank retelling of your story.
    Congratulations to you all!

  2. Jarett said,

    Kim and Kevin have proven time and time again that we made the best decision at the time. This process is full of emotions for the adoptive and biological parents both during and after the process. The greatest sense of uncertainty comes from not fully knowing how the relationship will work, before it is established. Never lose hope. Finn is a constant reminder in my life that things always have a meaning and purpose. For me, Kim and Kevin are the miracle.

  3. Ellen Barillaro said,

    I so enjoyed reading your story, I couldn’t be happier for the Hamilton FAMILY!!!! So wonderful to be so forthcoming with the struggles you overcame to become parents. Wishing you a very Happy Holiday.

  4. Jenee said,

    Beautiful story! How I’d love to be a part of this family, if you’ll allow me. I’m Finn’s biological aunt 🙂
    ~Jenee

  5. ted merwin said,

    moving story; i finn’s birth grandfather was also adopted (at 6 months) God makes families in many ways, always combining joy and sorrow; Happy Advent all!

  6. Judy Hollenack said,

    Thanks for sharing your story with Bill and I. Finn is beautiful.
    We feel part of the Hamilton Family and you can be a Hollenack if you wish.

  7. Peter Fairchild said,

    Finn is a Lucky Guy, and so are you! A wonderful story!

  8. Marian Smith said,

    Kevin and Kim,
    Even though we knew your story it is so beautiful to see it written down and see and feel the happiness you now both have. We all love “our” Finn and wish you all the blessings of this Christmas Season.
    Marian and Bob

  9. Joy Redington said,

    Kim and Kevin, you guys are an inspiration to those who are thinking about adoption to start their families as well! Thank you so much for sharing your story! Finn is a delight and so are you!!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: